My sleep schedule is all sorts of wacky and I’m not sure how I appreciate it. I need to get a desk (versus the kitchen table) in my apartment for some serious writing sessions during these semi-somnia bouts. It’s neat seeing the sunrise, and still being up and about by 11 most days but it gets lonely fast.
Also, my resolution for the new year (fuck starting on Jan 1st, real resolutions can start whenever) is to stop drinking. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it just feels like a good decision. I’ll like myself more sober.
Ohai freaky fucking ARG keeping me up all night, not out of terror (although god damn can they deliver) but out of an impulse to keep watching in hopes that I catch up with the story. Well played. Time to watch a 2 and a half hour ustream and hopefully pee a little.
So my neighbor/dude who was always over finally went to Alaska and although I really am excited for him…it’s weird to have a completely empty place. Being able to dance around my kitchen (I can’t dance) is pretty sweet but I’m going to have to start abusing skype or something at night to get my human interaction fix.
Ronnie and Blake played a solid set tonight, I have two new cats and only one of them treats me with indifference, I met some neat new faces and I’ve spent the last hour or so trying to help my friends music “careers” bloom. All in all things are picking up.
It definitely feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I’m glad I finally got the reassurance that you only really care about yourself. Apparently we will never make up, and we will never be friends.
Found out how scared you were to ask how I knew everything, but not how I ever blamed you. I know you were never aware so how could you say “Sorry, how could I take and take and never think of you? I’m not sorry I don’t care about you.” Found out how little I felt when I stepped back and heard you say “It’s not my fault - i was raised this way.” And I’ll be damned if I pity you like I used to do when I still loved you.
Tonight was a lot of fun. Handsome Bastards and White Picket Fence killed it, as was to be expected. Hung out with some cool people, and met someone with a lot of potential. Now all I want to do is write.
If Sigur Ros and Crystal castles ever made a collaborative project, I think I’d wet my pants. They already sampled Sigur Ros in Year of Silence so I know this can happen. Now I just need to start a campaign to force it.
When was the last time I held you all through the night? Never a worry would run through my heart like a knife. Feels like a zillion years, and I don’t want to wait any more. I need you now, be my light, tomorrow is much too late.